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When Career Gets In The Way Of Love

There a lot of insane reasons couples break up— jealousy, cheating, misunderstandings, so on and so forth. But really, these are all insane reasons for a break up, because these are workable situations. Jealousy can be counteracted with assurance, cheating with forgiveness (and a promise to never do it again!) and misunderstandings can be settled with communication. Now, the real reason break up happens is either because a partner is no longer willing to make the relationship work or the couple weren’t really in love in the first place.

Take your pick.

The reason I’ve brought this issue up is because there’s another insane reason for a break up that has risen recently. Probably because of the current state of the economy and recession, building up a steady career is now experiencing tension with keeping a relationship. This has been happening for years now, but has only surfaced of late in the dating community because of its rather frequent occurrence. I should know having experienced it firsthand.Career and love are two different things. Goals in these areas don’t usually mesh well, but with the right approach, they can.

Below are ways to avoid career getting in the way of love.
Set expectations

An all-time favorite: Communication is the key to making a relationship work. This may sound too familiar to believe, but it’s true. In this case, you can keep a steady career while keeping a healthy relationship by setting your partner’s expectations upfront. Talk to them and involve them with your plans. Tell them that you value them as much as you value your career, and that when things begin to become non-negotiable, you’ll still choose him/her over your career in the end. Make sure to also clarify to that you want them to respect the fact that you also have your own career goals that you need to take care of, and that you would appreciate it if they’d support you on your way to achieving these goals.

Learn to spend work time and love time separately

Support your intentions to make the relationship work, with your career on the side, by learning how to schedule properly and keep a balance. Know when to talk about work, and know when you’re already outside your office cubicle. Chances are, you are now spending limited time with your partner because of work, and it can really upset him/her if you still talk about work while you’re together. Cut him/her (or yourself) some slack and make your partner feel that you miss them. Spend quality time together. It’s the best way to offset hours spent on work that should’ve been spent together.

Prioritize. Choose.

Finally, if no matter what you do, you still end up losing time for him/her because of work or if you have time but he/she can’t understand, then maybe it’s time to think things over and prioritize. If you are like John Bowe, the author of this article, and you feel that career is more important to you at the moment, you can opt to stay single and do what you think is best and would make you happy at the moment. However, if you are like Brian Fairbanks, who answered to John Bowe’s argument of putting work before love, and you feel that you’d rather find things more challenging than to keep love at bay, then it’s your call. Just make sure to follow the first two advices shared in this post to avoid hurting anyone unintentionally.

Career is important, not only now because of the continuously increasing cost of living, but also because it is a part of you that you need to fulfill in order to be happy and contented. I personally agree that the career-love balancing act is worth a try. Just make sure that you are really committed to making it work.

How about you? What’s your take on this?


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